No bad habits ONLY habits

 Do you know why it’s so hard to break a "bad" habit? Because the moment you label it as bad, you attach negativity to it. This creates resistance—you either try to avoid it or forcefully get rid of it. But the mind operates on energy. Whether something is positive or negative, the more attention you give it, the more energy it receives—like feeding it fuel. So instead of disappearing, it grows. The harder you try to push it away, the stronger it holds on.

Any repeated tendency to do something—even when you don’t truly prefer it—signals a misalignment. Misalignment creates a sense of incompleteness, like an empty space within you. That emptiness seeks to be filled, whether with food, substances, or other external distractions.

To truly change this pattern, the first step is acceptance. Become aware of it, because any feeling of discomfort or incompleteness is an invitation to explore your deeper needs—your soul’s true calling. Suppose you tend to overeat. Instead of feeling guilty, honor the experience. Embrace yourself with kindness. Acknowledge your desire to eat and gently ask yourself: I hear you. What do you truly need right now? Rest? Understanding? Love? What are you trying to soothe with food?

A simple pause, a deep breath, can shift your state of being and bring a glimmer of awareness. Over time, your real needs will surface, and with that awareness, you may feel even the slightest sense of relief. And remember—any small shift, even if it happens only in your mind, is a profound change. Celebrate it! Cheer for yourself, hug yourself, or express your joy in any way that feels right. This acknowledgment strengthens your state of being and naturally guides you toward a more positive path.

You are not battling a “bad” habit—you are meeting a messenger, offering you insight into yourself. Be grateful for its message. It may lead you to a clearer understanding of who you truly want to be. And as you embrace that awareness, you will step into a new version of yourself—one with ease and love.

The River of Emotions: Let It Flow

Once upon a time, in a village nestled between two great mountains, there was a river called Lumina. The villagers believed the river was alive, carrying messages from the heart of the earth to the endless sky. Some days, Lumina flowed gently, sparkling under the sun. Other days, she roared with storms, her waters wild and untamed. The villagers would often say, "Lumina is angry today," or "Lumina is happy." But an old wise woman named Mira saw things differently.

"Lumina is neither good nor bad," she would tell the children who gathered around her. "She simply flows. And just like the river, emotions are energy—they need to move, not be blocked."

One day, a young boy named Kai came to Mira with tears in his eyes. "I feel so angry, but I know anger is bad," he said.

Mira shook her head gently. "Who told you anger is bad?"

"Everyone says so. They say I shouldn't feel it."

Mira led Kai to the river’s edge and picked up a smooth, round stone. "Look at this rock. It has two sides, just like everything in life—just like day and night, just like inhale and exhale. Energy flows in both directions. Would you call night bad? Or exhaling wrong?"

Kai shook his head. "No… I guess not."

"Then why call anger bad? Anger is a messenger, just like joy. It tells you something about yourself. If you block it, it's like trying to dam the river. It will build up, and one day, it will break free in ways you cannot control. But if you let it flow, it can teach you something."

Kai thought about this. "So… what do I do with my anger?"

Mira smiled. "Express it. Move your body, dance, sing, shout into the wind. Let it flow like Lumina. And then, when you feel it has moved through you, ask yourself: What did my anger want to tell me? What belief do I hold that made me feel this way?"

Kai tried it. He ran along the riverbank, jumping and shouting until he felt lighter. Then he sat by Mira and said, "I was angry because I thought my friend betrayed me. But maybe I was just afraid of losing him. Maybe I believed friendship should never have conflicts."

Mira nodded. "And now you can decide—do you want to hold onto that belief, or do you want to see friendship in a new way?"

Kai looked at the river, watching it flow freely under the open sky. "I want to let it flow."

From that day on, Kai no longer feared his emotions. He learned to listen to them, to express them, and to discover what they had to teach him. And just like the great river Lumina, he embraced the natural flow of life—without judgment, without resistance, simply moving forward with the current of his true self.

The AAA SMILE Parent: A Conscious Path to Super Parenting

Parenting is one of the most profound journeys of life, and conscious parenting takes it to the next level. If you aspire to be a "Super Parent," embracing the AAA SMILE approach can transform your connection with your child and create a harmonious family environment. AAA SMILE parenting is built on three A’s and six essential parenting principles, forming a foundation of love, understanding, and joy.

The Triple A’s of Parenting

1. Allow – Let kids be themselves. Children thrive when they feel accepted for who they are. Instead of shaping them into what we think they should be, give them the freedom to explore, express, and evolve into their authentic selves.

2. Acknowledge – Recognize what they do. Every effort, small or big, deserves acknowledgment. By doing so, we nurture their confidence and self-worth.

3. Appreciate – See your child as a divine being, another aspect of source on its evolution journey who choose you to be an important accompany. Remove the mindset of you know more and you need to teach them lessons. Hold the intention of your preferred state, interaction, and results. Appreciate and admire your child on the journey of becoming their best version. Admire their resilience, creativity, and courage, celebrating progress rather than perfection.

The SMILE Parenting Principles

• S – Self-care first: As parents, we cannot pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing self-care ensures we stay balanced, emotionally regulated, and present for our children.

• M – Model positive behaviors: Children learn more from what we do than what we say. By embodying kindness, patience, and resilience, we become role models for them.

• I – Inspire: Instead of controlling, guide and inspire children through meaningful conversations, curiosity, and encouragement.

• L – Love unconditionally and Learn together : Nothing powerful than unconditional love, which sets kids free to flourish to be their unique beings and learn from the journey with parents together.

• E – Enjoy the moment: Parenting is an adventure! Play, laugh, and cherish time together, making life fun and joyful.

Are you ready to be an AAA SMILE Parent? Start today and start where you are, S. M. I. L. E., and watch the magic unfold in your parenting journey, rest assured, because you have AAA 😀!

Why self love matters most?

 

The Power of Self-Love: Unlocking Freedom, Abundance, and True Connection

From the moment we are born, we are free, abundant, and natural manifesters. We come into this world with limitless potential, unburdened by self-doubt or fear. But as we grow, external influences—societal expectations, family pressures, and personal experiences—begin shaping our self-perception. When we unconsciously believe we are not worthy, we unknowingly limit ourselves. We avoid opportunities, second-guess our abilities, and even attract people who do not value us. The way we treat ourselves forms the foundation of how others will treat us. Our relationship with ourselves is the basis for every other relationship in our lives.

The Cost of Self-Denial

When we fail to embrace our true selves, self-denial often manifests in unhealthy ways—complaining about circumstances, blaming others for our unhappiness, or feeling trapped in situations that don’t align with our highest good. Without self-love, we become prisoners of external validation, seeking approval while silencing our authentic selves. But when we fully accept who we are—including our talents and our weaknesses—we reclaim our freedom.

Self-love is not about perfection; it is about embracing all aspects of ourselves with compassion. It means acknowledging mistakes as part of growth rather than sources of shame. When we stand firm in our truth, we become unaffected by the judgments of others. We step into our power, knowing that external opinions do not define us—our self-belief does.

The Impact of Negative Self-Talk

One of the greatest obstacles to self-love is negative self-talk. The way we speak to ourselves internally shapes our self-image and confidence. When we constantly criticize ourselves—telling ourselves we’re not good enough, not talented enough, or not worthy—we reinforce limiting beliefs that hold us back. Replacing self-criticism with self-compassion is essential. Instead of saying, "I always mess up," reframe it as, "I am learning and growing with every experience." Practicing positive affirmations and self-kindness helps reshape our mindset and fosters a loving relationship with ourselves.

The Role of Self-Care in Self-Love

Self-care is an essential practice of self-love. When we prioritize activities that nourish our mind, body, and soul, we reinforce our own worth. This can include activities like meditation, exercise, spending time in nature, engaging in hobbies, or simply taking breaks when needed. Setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and surrounding ourselves with positive influences are also crucial self-care practices. By making self-care a priority, we affirm to ourselves that we are valuable and deserving of love and care.

Teaching Self-Love to Children

If children learn self-love early, they grow up to be balanced, motivated, and assertive individuals. When they are encouraged to embrace who they truly are, they develop a strong foundation for resilience and inner peace. Here’s how we can foster self-love in children:

1. Give Them the Freedom to Be Themselves
   Children need space to express their individuality. Encourage them to explore their interests, dress how they feel comfortable, and make choices that resonate with their hearts rather than social expectations.

2. Avoid Judging Them by Social Standards
   Every child has a unique path. Rather than comparing them to others or pushing them toward conventional success, celebrate their journey. If a child prefers art over academics or sports over music, honor their choices without bias.

3. Teach That Mistakes Are Growth Opportunities
   Rather than scolding children for making mistakes, help them see errors as stepping stones to learning. This shift in mindset fosters confidence and a positive attitude toward challenges.

4. Value Authenticity Over Approval
   Encourage children to be true to themselves rather than seeking validation from others. Teach them that being authentic is more important than fitting in.

5. Be a Role Model of Self-Love
   Children learn by example. Show them what self-love looks like—speak kindly about yourself, set healthy boundaries, and pursue your passions without fear of judgment.

A Simple Self-Love Exercise

One powerful way to cultivate self-love is through a simple daily practice. Try standing in front of a mirror each morning and saying three positive affirmations about yourself. These could be statements like, "I am worthy of love and success," "I embrace my uniqueness," or "I am enough just as I am." Writing in a self-love journal, where you list things you appreciate about yourself each day, can also help reinforce a positive self-image. The more we practice affirming our worth, the stronger our self-love becomes.

Embracing Freedom Through Self-Love

The truth is, we are free the moment we choose to be. We are not bound by societal expectations, past failures, or the opinions of others. True freedom comes from embracing who we are—fully and unapologetically. When we teach children (and remind ourselves) to love who we are, we unlock the power to live with joy, abundance, and authenticity.

The journey of self-love is ongoing, but every step toward embracing ourselves creates a world where we are not just surviving but thriving. When we stand in our truth, we inspire others to do the same. And that is the true power of self-love.

About Me

As a teacher, I have followed a unique and unconventional path.

I earned my Ph.D. in sustainable agriculture and pursued postdoctoral research at Nanjing University and UC Davis for three years. After the birth of my second son, I chose to become a stay-at-home mom, dedicating six years to raising my two sons. This period was precious, filled with beautiful memories. During those years, I explored my interests in psychology, parenting, mind science, and personal development, almost forgetting about the necessity of a career. Then, my family returned to China, and I resumed research at Tongji University in Shanghai.

Although I was productive at work, I increasingly felt unfulfilled and even depressed. Two years later, in 2016, I returned to the U.S. and began teaching science for the Panda preschool class. This experience refreshed me and reignited my curiosity. I then became an associate teacher for the Panda class, teaching for two hours a day—those two hours became the happiest part of my day. When I was with the children, I felt transformed—active, imaginative, creative, and playful. At middle age, I made what seemed like a crazy decision: I embraced a low-paid, entry-level teaching job because it simply felt right. (Sigh! When will society truly recognize the importance of preschool years?) I decided to continue as a teacher.

After completing my preservice training for a teaching credential, I became the head teacher for the Dragons kindergarten class. That year was the most unbelievable of my life—my first year as a full-time teacher, transitioning from in-person teaching before March to online teaching for the remainder of the school year due to COVID. To me, it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. With the pandemic, many conferences, institutions, and museums opened their resources for free. I attended several online conferences that I wouldn't have known about otherwise. I became a sponge, absorbing all kinds of knowledge and, fortunately, connecting with the "mycorrhizal network" of the teaching field. My kindergarteners were my angels, inspiring me to create interactive and diverse learning experiences during those challenging times.

With Dragons and Owls at Peregrine School, I faced both the most challenging and the most fascinating experiences—designing adaptive and progressive lessons that aligned with students' interests, the natural and cultural environment. Guided by SOAR (Science, Outdoor, Art, Responsibility), our curricula were rich and integrative. Often, we entered a flow state, exploring different ways to solve problems, experimenting, making art, singing, communicating with bugs and worms, cooking, and enjoying stories together.

I love kindergarteners! They are playful, curious, imaginative, flexible, and deeply connected. However, I observed that even at this young age, children had already formed mindsets—belief systems and attitudes about themselves, others, learning, and the world. Unfortunately, while we focus on managing behaviors, we often overlook these invisible mindsets. Many of these beliefs persist into adulthood, and limiting beliefs such as "I am not good enough," "I am not good at math," or "I must fit in to be liked and accepted" disempower students and hinder their full potential.

Since junior high, I have been fascinated by how humans learn and change. My studies in yoga and my experiences with students have led me to realize that science alone cannot answer my deepest questions. I have expanded my exploration beyond science and educational theories. Over the past few years, I have pursued extensive learning, including:

• Social and Emotional Learning Foundations Course – UC Berkeley School of Social Welfare & University Extension, August-December 2024

• Cultivating Connection: Mindfulness, Gratitude, and Awe – Greater Good Science Center, UC Berkeley, September-December 2024

• The Awakened Schools Institute – Collaborative for Spirituality in Education, Teachers College, Columbia University, August-December 2023

• Growing Whole Children in the Garden – UC Davis Continuing and Professional Education, 2021

• Teacher Credentialing Preservice Program (Multiple Subject) – Rex and Margaret Fortune School of Education, 2019

• Teaching Character and Creating Positive Classrooms – Relay Graduate School of Education, 2014

• Hatha Yoga (Upa Yoga, Angamardana, Surya Kriya, Yogasanas, and Bhuta Shuddhi), Inner Engineering (Shambhavi Mahamudra Kriya), Bhava Spandana program,  Shoonya meditation and Shakti Chalana Kriya – Isha Foundation (2017-2024)

• Rise Summit – Tony Robbins, 2024

• Rewire Your Brain – Dr. Joe Dispenza, 2023

• Limitless – Jim Kwik, 2023

• Channeled Teachings from Higher Dimensional Beings – Bashar (Darryl Anka), Hathors and Arcturians (Tom Kenyon), Ryokah (Tyler Ellison), Pleiadians (Wendy Kennedy), 2023-present

• Paradigm Shift – Proctor Gallagher Institute, 2017

Through these experiences, I have undergone profound transformation and increased consciousness. I believe that humans are limitless and possess incredible superpowers—if we are willing to shift our mindset and update our beliefs about what is possible. By doing so, we can create not only a fulfilling life for ourselves but also a harmonious, joyful, and abundant society on this beautiful Earth.

The journey is the destination—true for both life and education!